Week 4, Post-Trial: Max

[withsadness]

Maaaaax...do you have a few minutes?

[Mary waited until the excitement of the day had died down and people started splitting off to talk to who they had to, but she lingered around the McDonalds counter, not really all that subtle.]

I just want to ask you for some more advice, since you're so smart!

Comments

[concertmaster]

That's true. [HE JUST. ACCEPTS IT.] What's up?

[withsadness]

I wanted to ask you about your experiences with this, before you were a Host.

[She thinks about the notes that talked about how unusual this game was, and how the timing causes bonds to be formed that shouldn't be. How it's cruel.]

I only played in two other games, the first one and then another as a reaper...I didn't really care that much when people died. But I'm kind of scared, now. Is it supposed to be this hard? I want to turn it off.

[concertmaster]

My experiences fucking sucked, but so do feelings in general.

[he shrugs]

It's not going to get any easier from here on out. There's a reason Games are usually shorter than this.

[withsadness]

Shit.

[She's learning from the best. The worst best.]

I haven't meant to get attached...not for real. If it doesn't get any easier, does it at least...

[Hmm, no, she changes her phrasing.]

Does it take a long time to get over?

[concertmaster]

Losing people?

[there's a dry laugh]

Fuck yeah. Especially with the Games being as they are. You're gonna see a lot of people get a second chance who don't deserve it, when people who you know should've had one just... don't fucking make it. But that's how it is.

[......]

And yeah, it sucks. It's gonna suck whenever you think about those people.

[nice pep talk]

[withsadness]

Oh, no...

[She fiddles with a thick lock of her hair, twisting and pulling restlessly.]

I was hoping I could just hate everyone forever. I guess that's not how things work.

[This is going to be a punishing eternity.]

[concertmaster]

I thought the same way back when I was alive.

[and yet. he grabs at her hand to stop her from twisting her own hair]

I don't know if liking people is worth shit in this world. I don't know if the Games are worth anything, either. But it's not... a bad thing. To not hate everything. Before it hurt so bad, you felt good, right?

[and with a sincerity he doesn't usually have:]

You can't be happy all the time. No one can. But you shouldn't regret the shit that made you happy, even if it was just for a little while.

[withsadness]

[Mary's expression loses some of its anxiety as she looks at Max's hand on her own.]

I guess you're right. [She sighs.] I know you're right. I must have just gotten caught up in everything going right for so many weeks I forgot that it couldn't last forever.

[Another thought occurs to her.]

I'm going to have to say goodbye to you in the end, too, aren't I?

[concertmaster]

[ he blinks and removes his hand with a shrug ]

... Yeah, I guess. I'm not in danger of being erased any time soon, though, so worry about that later.