Week 5, Post-Trial: Magnus

[withsadness]

[Man, it's been hard approaching anyone after the day they had. And Magnus is so big and that somehow makes it harder. It's not that she's afraid of him, of course, because he's always been so nice to her, but...it's exactly that niceness that makes her worry for what she might find when she follows behind him and touches his arm.]

Um...

[But she doesn't know where to start, even though she knows this conversation needs to happen.]

Comments

[ruffboi]

Uh. I don't really know...

[Her reaction makes him hesitate, a little awkward. Maybe it wasn't that good of an idea to get into this with a troubled little girl - not when he doesn't know everything she's been through. But that's just how he is, always saying things without thinking them through. He's never thought through how to love someone, how not to hurt the people you love, either. He always just did, too much, enough that he'd rather die than let any of them down.

He's much less confident, explaining how to love someone.]

I think you just have to try...not to hurt the people you care about? [It seems so easy to him, but he also knows how often it isn't easy at all.] And maybe sometimes you'll make mistakes. But I think you'll be okay.

[He stops for a second, bothering to try and collect his thoughts before rushing forward again.] Like at the trial. You confessed, because Akira and Lenka asked you, right? And they both matter to you, and you wanted to be honest with them even if it hurt, and you didn't want Akira to be hurt instead. So, I think maybe you already know how. You just need some time to practice.

[withsadness]

It's so hard...I don't understand when people want such different things from me. The things that Akira and Lenka and Ichigo asked me for are not at all like the things that Shinshin or Jacopo or Izaya did.

[Mary sinks down into a crouch, pressing her hands to her cheeks.]

I've never had this many people to care for all at once before. It's so much. It's so, so much. Has your heart ever felt so full that you felt as if it could just burst, Magnus? Is it supposed to hurt so badly?

[This probably isn't the right time or place for this conversation. And maybe it's not fair to ask these things of Magnus. But then, nobody's ever really spoken to her this way to begin with, and she's not very good at reading the room.]

[ruffboi]

Sometimes, yeah. Can't have love in your life without risking getting hurt a little. [He's never been betrayed or used by anyone, the way he feels she was. But he's been let down. And he's felt grief bad enough it nearly destroyed him.] It's scary, huh. 'cause you know every good feeling...you still know how much it'd hurt if you lost 'em. I get it.

But that's why you have to know what's right and wrong for yourself, and you can't let other people change that, no matter how hard it is. [Fair or not, he started this conversation and he's not shying away from finishing it, even if there's some difficult things to say.] I think you knew hurting Ichigo was wrong. Just 'cause you loved someone who wanted him hurt doesn't change that it was wrong.